Universes

Now I know that it would seem that I am slack, and if knitting is truly the centre of the universe, as I often suspect it is, then that would be entirely true. However, the world tells me that knitting is not in fact the centre of the universe, and that knitting is in fact a distraction from what one ought to be doing (which is why it is so enjoyable). I have been working quite hard on my research lately, and until an hour ago had not knitted a stitch for two weeks.
The knitting in question is Laminaria. I am perhaps a quarter of the way through it:

I decided not to do the star stitch repeat in the pattern because I wanted a more open lacey look, so I replaced it with honeycomb stitch. I'm not sure if it matches the look of the rest of the pattern really, but of course you can't tell until it's finished and blocked:

I'm sure it will be fine. I'm looking forward to having a lovely lacey shawl, especially now that the weather has gone mad here in Canberra. I have a lovely blue and green silk dress which this shawl will look spectacular with. I'll have to make hubby take me out for a fine meal at a respectable establishment so I have an excuse to wear them together.

I have been going a little mad. Well, I can't put it into words. I have "issues" which I won't bore anyone with, but I can be fine for a couple of months, quite happy and working well, and then within half an hour one day for no reason I turn into a mess. I panic, I can't sleep, I can't assess anything rationally, every dark thought becomes obsessively turned over and over in my mind. I know a lot of people have these sorts of problems. I think reading stories in the papers about the deaths of so many people in Victoria is bound to set these things off. Since my brother died, I take every death I hear about personally, and to see photo's of these people is heartbreaking. Grief is so incapacitating, and we are not allowed to talk about it openly. I don't know why. What I wanted to get to is that I think that knitting plays a large role in the control of my mental health. I knew when I woke up this morning that I couldn't possibly work today, so I finally picked up Laminaria again, and I really do feel better already. Perhaps it's the familiar comfort of one stitch after another, or the enforced rest and contemplation. Maybe I've been working too hard. I won't go on about it. Knitting good. Working bad.